My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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