So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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