Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
