If that was your dad, he is hot
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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