Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
