What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
