All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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