My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
