So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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