Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
