I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
