i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
