you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So. Much. Porn.
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