My liver just broke up with me...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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