this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
