I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
