i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
