My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
