I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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