drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize