Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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