I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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