Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
