Having a random hookup so left but love u
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
