Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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