All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i think i have two assholes
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
