Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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