last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just google imaged poop.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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