yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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