And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Randomize
