3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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