Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
