toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
