My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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