I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
