oh god the rape fog is back!
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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