you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
