I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
