There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize