***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
