They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
