is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize