there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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