Can Purell be used as lube?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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