My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
