her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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