Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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