ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
