Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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