What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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