kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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