Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
