I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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