how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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