there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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