Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
