im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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