she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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