Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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