Already got asked if we're dating
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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