have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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