How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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