We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
