so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
